Science

The Universe is massive.  Think about it.  Not for too long, though.  You could end up wasting a whole bunch of time.  Unless you're someone like Stephen Hawking or Neil Degrasse Tyson. (LC)

Truth

You know how there are different methods of learning like: by example, or demonstration, or going to school?  Well, I learn by making mistakes.  So I'll save you some trouble.  Don't say things to me like: "Don't make the same mistake I did." or: "Don't make the mistake of...(whatever)".  Because I will. (LC)

Real Genius

I recently found out that the creator of the personal computer had a Dial-A-Joke telephone line in the early 80s.  That is, Steve Wozniak had a phone number you could call and hear a joke.  Google it. I couldn't find any recordings of his jokes, but he does have a joke book you can buy here.  I'm guessing from the one review that his jokes are pretty terrible...That make me like him even more!  Wozniak > Jobs. (LC)

The Ultimate Warrior is officially dead...

...and that really. bums. me out.  He was on Monday Night RAW just last night.  I watched it.  He cut a classic Ultimate Warrior promo in the ring (which he walked to with a noticeable limp).  He shook the ropes just like old times.  Warrior was inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame before Wrestlemania 30 last weekend.  He gave a good speech.  Unfortunately for everyone, I think he had a lot more to say than he did.  Now we won't ever get that autobiography.  Bummer.  That would be a book I would like to read.  I'm not the wrestling fan that I used to be.  A lot of that has to do with the quality in today's wrestlers.  Warrior wasn't necessarily old school, because wrestling goes back well before he got started.  He was a huge part of the era that had the largest impression on me, though. Here are my top 5: 1. Hulk Hogan 2. Macho Man 3. Roddy Piper 4. The Ultimate Warrior 5. Mick Foley Anyway, here's the promo Warrior cut for Wrestlemania VI (here). Warrior won the belt from Hogan after playing the most glorious game of Mercy. You should google that match. One of the greatest of all time. (LC)

kvlt

I've been doing a little reading up on Heaven's Gate.  They made some sick websites.  Look it up.  Not to be too distasteful here but those purple nikes are SAWEEEET!  I'm also thinking about maybe getting a purple snuggie.  KY's birthday is coming up soon.  Maybe I'll ask her for one. (LC)

Movie review

I saw 'Noah' the other night.  Nobody told me Anthony Hopkins

played the Dungeon Master!

(LC)

Now that this blog is impossible to open...

...I'll stop uploading so many youtube vids. sorry. (LC)

Lessons

I do not train Jiu Jitsu, but I did a little wrestling in high school. Like most things, I wasn't very good at it.  I think I understand this guy's sentiment, though.  Watch closely for the puke: (LC)

Band Name For Sale

Tom Pretty ($12)
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Music Stands

Nice music stands dorks.

(Bug)

Craigslist Free Section

If anyone needs a container to hold one of their kids, here's a listing for one. Plenty of room for probably even a teenager if they are smaller. Not sure what to do with the 2 things on the right.

http://boise.craigslist.org/zip/4366025142.html

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Craigslist Free Section (Hints)

I'm going to try to throw out some good finds that maybe wont work for me, but perhaps I can pass on the savings to you. Act fast, because who knows how long gems like this will last.

http://boise.craigslist.org/zip/4366057849.html

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preferences

I'm pretty much a metalhead and a rock fan. I'm a sucker for Trance, too, though. It's kinda funny, because I'm not a big fan of "House" techno music. I don't know much about trance, but it gives me a weird feeling inside when I hear it. I think the theme song for Downton Abbey could be made into a sweet trance remix. That's my opinion on the subject.  Mauricio "Shogun" Rua used to walkout to this song before he fought:(LC)

choice body art

I watched Smealinho Rama fight on t.v. the other night.  He showed potential in a decision win.  I couldn't help but notice the portrait of Iron Mike on his stomach.  Now I'm a pretty big fan of Mike Tyson.  I think the man has done a lot to try redeem himself of all the crazy/bad things he did in his past.  I watched his Vegas show on HBO a couple months back.  He told a bunch of stories from his past.  The documentary, "Tyson" is really worth watching, too.  You have to remember that Tyson used to completely wreck great fighters in seconds when he was coming up.  Ali might have been the greatest, in and out of the ring.  He didn't ruin scary dudes like Tyson in his prime, though.  You gotta remember, too, that Tyson was almost always the much smaller fighter than his opponents. He had amazing footwork.  Anyway, why did Rama choose to get a tattoo of Tyson's face post-facial tattoo/ear-bite/baby-eating/and rape conviction?  Is it because he admires the man that Tyson is trying to be now?  Personally, If I was a fighter, and I thought I had to have a Mike Tyson portrait on my stomach, I would probably get a younger version when he was turning grown-ass men's lights off.  On the other hand, Rama is only 21 years old.  Older Tyson is scarier-looking, anyway.  Sorry for the long post.  Here's a jam from Condor:

(LC)

Interpretations

I watched a lot of Star Wars this weekend.  I made an acute observation while spending some quality time with the material.  In Star Wars (#4 for those who don't call it Star Wars),  Luke Skywalker gets dragged underwater by the Death Star's trash monster.  He escapes it's grasp.  In Empire Strikes Back, R2D2 is swallowed by a swamp monster but spit out.  In Return of the Jedi, Boba Fett gets swallowed by the Sarlacc in the deserts of Tatooine.  (The rumor is that he escaped sometime after the movie finished.)  Anyway, I'm not sure what this means, but it's probably sexual.  I just wanted to point it out.  Here's Cloven Hoof:

(LC)

lifestyle choices

You know why I don't smoke weed?  So I can brag about being the only person in Portland that isn't stoned.  On another note, we're moving to Wichita this summer. (don't play it, I'm already sick of that White Stripes song.) Wymans got a new gig there starting in August.  So long Potland...I mean Potholeland!  Here's Chinawite:

(LC)

Life Choices

I have a hard time understanding why someone would put a tattoo directly on their face...well, unless they killed somebody.  Here's a classic from Obituary: (LC)

Productivity

I got a lot of crap to do this weekend but Star Wars is on.  Here's "The Taker" by Chevy:

(LC)

TV Show Review

I'm hooked on "Downton Abbey". That show is great. Season 4 just ended. Well, maybe I'm reading into things too much, and I hope I'm wrong. I do not want Mary and Tom to hook up. I know that Season 4 kind of led watchers to think differently. I hope it continues that way. Mary and Tom getting together is way too easy for the writers of the show. Don't get me wrong, Mary and Tom are great together as a team taking care of the estate. The got chemistry, but like sister and brother, even though they are only by marriage and maybe even not anymore by death. I'm sure that I am in the minority here. I'm sure it's what all the single ladies over the age of 30 that spend more time staying in than going out want. I think it would result in the show ending prematurely in a disastrous vortex that will tarnish the show's legacy. You know how nobody had anything good to say about "Lost" after that show ended? That show was pretty great until the dumb end. Yeah, that's how people will react eventually if Mary and Tom hook up. I got this song stuck in my head: (LC)

Personal Preferences

Honestly, I don't think cigarettes are all that sexy...yoga on the other hand...I guess it depends on who's teaching the class...here's Chelsea: (LC)

Album Review

I bought the new Carcass album back in December.  I finally listened to it last week.  I think I've played it all the way through probably 8 times now.  It's pretty darn good.  My good buddy AK says it's as if "Swansong" never happened...what's it been, 17 years since their last album?  AK and I are in talks of seeing Carcass in March.  The new album is called "Surgical Steel".  I'm sure they looked at medical books for this one, too.  I give it a thumbs up. I love seeing old legends like Bill Steer and Jeff Walker killing it again.  Check out this cut: (LC)

Stances on things

Sorry, I don't know where you're coming from.  Here's Chaos Horde: (LC)

Current Events

It was great to see The Hulkster on Monday Night RAW earlier tonight.  Looking forward to his future endeavors as he returns to WWF...er, WWE.  Check out this song by a foreign band called Chaos UK:

(LC)

Harold Ramis R.I.P.

Harold Ramis's death is a real bummer.  He starred in a personal Top 10 movie.  Ghostbusters, man. (There should be another Mt. Rushmore with the faces of the 4 ghostbusters.) He co-wrote so many other favs, in particularly Animal House.  I don't know if he ever got the credit he deserved from the casual movie fan.  If there is one thing to remember him for is that Mr. Ramis knew how to make great/the best comedy...There was a guy that used to come in to EM and look through the DVDs that looked just like Ramis, except he was a little slow.  He used to always put dirty movies on hold...I guess I could go on and bum-out over everyone's death here, but I am not going to..."Let's say this twinkie represents all of the psycho kenetic energy in the New York area. According to this morning's sample it will be a twinkie, 35 feet long and weighing approximately 600 pounds..."so good...anyway, like any good technological determinist would say: (LC)

Food situation

There should be a snack called a "Humdinger". You know, like a candy bar or something. So, I was thinking about this took the initiative to google it. Apparently, there is a restaurant called "Humdingers" and a kettle corn brand called "Humdinger Kettle Korn". That's close, but what I'm saying is that there should be a snack specifically called a Humdinger. That is all. Listen to this song by Cain: (LC)

Spatial Dilemmas

It rains a lot in Portland.  I'm sure everyone knows that already.  PDXers have recently gotten some flack for the claim that true Portlanders don't use umbrellas.  The thing is that a lot of people here use umbrellas.  I, for one, side with the claim, though.  Umbrellas may have a practical purpose, and some people find them fashionable or cute.  I think they take up way too much space.  Ever walk on a sidewalk and someone holding an umbrella walks past you? If the sidewalk isn't wide enough that thing could take out your eye if you don't duck.  If 2 people with umbrellas walk side by side, then you could be up shit creek.  Ever get stuck behind an umbrella-holder going into the building?  The umbrella-holder stops, shakes it off, and closes it while you have to wait on that clueless mf.  Get my drift?  Well, that's how I feel about umbrellas. Here's Bushido: (LC)

Man issues

Why do some dudes spit their gum out in the urinal?  It doesn't flush like pee does.  Someone has to pick it up. Albeit, that person probably gets paid, but that person gets paid the same anyway, whether there's gum in the urinal or not.  Just seems like a dick thing to do...that all I'm sayin'.  There's usually a trash reasonably close.  Why not spit the gum out there?...And since we're on the subject, how about flushing, too.  Don't just leave it, expecting the next dude to do it for you.  I understand that flushing spreads germs, but dude, there's probably a sink with soap 3 steps away.  Washing hands is an excellent method to keep germs from spreading.  I sure hope you're washing your hands after holding your willie during your piss.  You could be spreading your germs on the door handle on your way out. And if you don't want my germs, then I don't want your germs. (I usually leave the men's room with a paper towel that I throw away in a trash receptacle afterward anyway, but that's beside the point.)  All this kind of reminds me of the free-market capitalist system.  You know, reaping the benefits but not willing to share the burden...anyway, just sayin'.  Here's a tune from Bulbous Creation:

(LC)

Awkward situations

1st thing, sorry for the neglect. It's already mid-February and this is the 1st post of the year. My office job moved to a new location in downtown Portland about a month ago. It's nice. I have an actual cubicle and a nameplate, now. I also have a place to hang my coat. There are plenty of food options nearby and I don't mind taking the bus. One complaint I have though, is the men's room has a timed motion-sensor light in it. Maybe you know what I'm getting at, maybe you don't. Well, it's happened to me twice now. Have you ever tried wiping your butt in pitch black after a real time-consuming growler? It's not as easy as you might think. I mean, you gotta know if you're good. The sensor won't pick up what's going on in the stall. I tried waving my arms. No way would I get up and walk out of the stall with unfinished business. Good thing I had my cell phone. Another situational use. (the phone light.) I guess I'm lucky that no one has came in yet to catch me shittin' in the dark. I'll leave you with a jam by Buffalo:(LC)

Clubs, man...

In particularly boys' clubs. You know, like the Freemasons, the Shriners, the Elks, Alpha Delta Phi, the Knights of Columbus, the Hell's Angels, the Mongols, the Bloods, the Crips, the Lions' Club... It all reminds me of dudes in a locker room; slappin' butts and grabbin' ass. Hard for me to take serious. Not that I'm afraid of the homoerotic, or anything. It's just that I personally I prefer individual sports to team sports. Mano E Mano...I guess a lot of bands could fall into the club category,too, come to think of it. I bet KISS and The Beatles played a lot of grabbass with each other over the years. I know it's a little late to bring this up now, but do you think Mix-A-Lot is getting any royalties from the Pussycat Dolls? Here's a reminder (fast-forward to 50sec if you have to): (LC)

Jury Duty update

I was picked. Most of last week was spent at the courthouse. I won't go into any details about the trial, but I will say that justice was served...just doing my duty as an American. Here are some Russians demonstrating how to open a can of tuna without a can opener: (LC)