Awkward situations

1st thing, sorry for the neglect. It's already mid-February and this is the 1st post of the year. My office job moved to a new location in downtown Portland about a month ago. It's nice. I have an actual cubicle and a nameplate, now. I also have a place to hang my coat. There are plenty of food options nearby and I don't mind taking the bus. One complaint I have though, is the men's room has a timed motion-sensor light in it. Maybe you know what I'm getting at, maybe you don't. Well, it's happened to me twice now. Have you ever tried wiping your butt in pitch black after a real time-consuming growler? It's not as easy as you might think. I mean, you gotta know if you're good. The sensor won't pick up what's going on in the stall. I tried waving my arms. No way would I get up and walk out of the stall with unfinished business. Good thing I had my cell phone. Another situational use. (the phone light.) I guess I'm lucky that no one has came in yet to catch me shittin' in the dark. I'll leave you with a jam by Buffalo:(LC)