Newsflash!

The world is full of shit that doesn't work the way it's supposed to. (LC)

Affirmative Action

Caveat: This post is by no means intended to make fun of people with disabilities.  Contrarily, this post is meant to praise an individual that has excelled with what may be perceived as a legitimate disadvantage...It's no secret that I'm a big fan of fighting.  I'm also kind of a closet equal rights freak. (I'm working on it, anyway.)  The Notorious Nick Newell is a really good fighter with a record of 12 wins 1 loss.  The dude was born without a left arm below the elbow.  But did I say he's really good? Yeah, most of his fights end in the 1st round, so don't feel bad that he only has one arm. He wouldn't want you to.  I've seen him do if a few times.  Nick beats dudes up in a way that makes them look bad.  He's fun, exciting, and a great personality for MMA.  Seems like a cool dude.  For all I know, he might like At The Gates.  I do feel bad for his opponents, though.  In the eyes of the unfamiliar, it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario.  If you win, you just beat a dude with one arm, you're a dick.  If you lose, you just lost to a dude with one arm...  Tough spot to be in. Ultimately, there's a pretty good chance you'll get choked out, anyway you fool.. In all seriousness, do you wanna know the secret to beat this guy? Right high kick. xoxo

(LC)

Metal Sighting

Suicidal Tendencies on Miami Vice Season 2 Episode 21.  You can check this out for yourself if you have Netflix. (Miami Vice is one of the best shows ever made and well worth your time.)  Please do not confuse this sighting with the very similar Infectious Grooves appearance in Encino Man. (LC)

Art

People always argue about art.  Is it or isn't it good?  You know how some people say rap isn't even music?  Yeah, that kind of thing.  How about experimental art or music or noise? Is it art? Is it even music? How about Duchamp's urinal.  Is that art?  How about the group named Bang On A Can?  Say you buy a CD of theirs and don't like it.  It's not like you weren't warned, so that one's on you. (LC)

Battle of the Sexes part deuce

I don't know why I'm posting this.  I'm happily married, but... You know how on TV shows a woman can get away with throwing a drink in a man's face and he has to take it, you know, like a man. A dude can't throw a drink in a woman's face, though.  I know, I know.  It's an aggressive action or act of violence (which really is no laughing matter).  It's not like one can really throw a drink harder in the face of another, though, right? Wouldn't a woman throwing a drink be equally damaging as that of a man doing it?  So really, what it comes down to is no one should be throwing drinks no matter the gender.  This being said, behaviorally speaking, the conduct of men in situations where drinks are thrown seems to be frequently more deserving of this kind of reception than that of women.  So, for the men:  Learn to behave.  Ok, rant over.  I gotta go clean the house.  We have people coming over for the Mayweater-Pacquiao fight. (LC)

Battle of the Sexes

I'm happily married so I don't really know why I'm posting this.  You know how women are always looking for a "confident man".  I think that what they really mean is that they're looking someone to do everything for them.  Am I off base here? (LC)

Tastes

The thing is, I know what's good.  I just don't know what people like.  There's a difference. (LC)

the hits

(Quick preface: I had to ask KY about this because she's the psychology genius.) When a certain subject always brings up a specific memory, it's called a mental primer or trigger.  You know, like how the smell of IcyHot makes you think of the locker room in high school?...anyway, it does for me.  (If you care to learn more about metal triggers you can either 1) Google it like I did, or 2) click this link HERE . ) Ok, here's what I'm getting at:  So, there have been a lot of hit songs about specific women named ____?  You know, Boston's "Amanda", Starship's "Sara", The Police's "Roxanne" and Michael Jackson's "Dirty Diana", etc, etc?  Well, I've known a whole bunch of Amandas, Saras, Roxannes, and Dirty Dianas in my life, so those songs can be about anyone.  I could be thinking about a many number of things when I hear those songs.  Here's the thing though: my quandary is with Toto's "Rosanna".  It's a fantastic song. Huge hit.  I've only known one Rosanna in my life ever, though, and that was my Junior High pal's mom.  An amazing woman, and terrific mom.  She raised a great family.  But I never thought of her in, you know, that way.  Except when that song comes on I have a mental trigger...of her.  Could be why I prefer "Africa".(LC)

TV Show review

I don't know why I'm even bringing this up because I'm happy, loyal, and faithful husband and I haven't even seen the show, but... Dating Naked has got to be way cooler than dating with clothes on, right? (LC) 

Brutal honesty to oneself.

As much as I hate smugness, I probably undeservedly am.  I should work on it.  I'm as dumb as I look. Sorry. (At least I don't remind everyone on fb everyday of how cleverly stupid I am. Maybe once or twice a week...) (LC)

Sports

Big fight this weekend.  I'm rooting for Pacman but I think Money will pull out a decision.  That's probably the safest point of view to have.  Manny is very fast and a lefty, which could give Floyd some trouble.  I think Mayweather might still be a little faster at dodging and countering.  I think Pac could end up chasing a running Money around the ring for 12 rounds getting picked at.  Tough to say, though.  Manny does have KO power and speed and being a southpaw could really mess up Floyd's counter attempts.  That they both foil each other's strengths is what makes this match up so good.  And that they are arguably the 2 best boxers in the world right now (GGG, Kovalev, and Ward may argue that).  It's a legacy fight like none other.  Ok, ok.  Now bear with me here.  Laugh if you want to, but I think the real equivocal factor in the outcome could very well be the strength and nature of the hex Pacman's mom is going to cast on Money during the bout.  She's really cute, but I'm dead serious. (LC)

Thee Single Most Intrinsic Truth

America invented everything. (LC)

Music production

I have decided to offer my services to chop & screw your music.  $4.99 a song for the first album with the option to renegotiate for the second.  PM me if you're interested. (LC)

Honesty

I kind of wish I was tall and thin.  Partly because I would be more attractive, but mainly so it would be easier to look down on people. (LC)

Responsibilites

For most pets, You can blame a pet's death on old age if it's, say, 13 or 14 years old.  Unless your pet is a turtle.  If your turtle dies at 13 or 14 years old it's pretty much your fault. (LC)

'Tis the Season

I don't know why so many people like Spring.  They must not have allergy problems. Or maybe they like allergies.  I don't know.  I look like I've been huffing paint right now. (LC)

I take it back...

I went to wrestling camp for a week the summer I turned 17 over in Truckee, CA.  Completely different kind of meatballs, though, and the reminder of one hell of a historical rager: The Donner Party...(LC)

About Me

I never went to summer camp.  You know, like the one on Meatballs.  Not once. (LC)

Status update

I don't vlog. (LC)

Social networking

No one has ever asked me if I have an Instagram account.  Well, that answers that.  (LC)

Peeves

Have I mentioned that I don't like being called "buddy"? "Bud" is just as bad.  I don't like it, so if you see this, please don't. (LC)

3-day weekends

3-day weekends are great.  Not only do you get an extra day off, the following work week is a day shorter.  It's like getting 2 presents from 1 person.  Last weekend was one of these.  Too bad I worked the whole time... (LC)

Facts.

As a member of Facebook, I follow a lot of things.  I am also a member of a few groups.  One group is Vinyl Addiction.  People post stuff about records.  You get it.  Anyway, Mark posted this earlier:

Well, I thought about it.  Tough question.  I read the thread.  Some people gave authentic answers and some people were smartasses (as expected).   Then I got to about the 70th comment:

Yep.  Ryan's answer sums it up for me.  (LC)

Kansas critique

I have yet to publicly or officially criticize Wichita since we have moved here.  We moved here in August, f.y.i.  Okay, here is what I have to say:  Wichita does not seem like a very safe place to go for a walk. (LC)

Dumb sayings

I think it's funny when someone says, "Do yourself a favor and (do whatever they say is doing yourself a favor)".  Like that person knows that I would be doing myself a favor by doing what they say I should be doing.  Dumb.  I prefer something like, "You should check this out.  I think you might like it."  I would prefer it even more if the reason why I would like it was stated, too.  I don't know... It's just a lot better than someone telling me to "Do yourself a favor."   I just can't take it seriously.  I think I can determine my favors myself, thank you. (LC)

Gastro-intestinal

I had McDonald's for lunch and Taco Bell for dinner.  How old am I?  Will I ever learn?  Good thing I'll be home all day tomorrow. (LC)

Performance Art

Drag queens seem to be all the rage these days.  Wymans is all about them.  She loves Rupaul's show and gossips with her like-minded friends about it.  Honestly, it's not really my thing.  I think it's great that this art is finally being widely accepted, though.  Equality for gender and sexuality, yay!... I tried watching the show, but like "Seinfeld" and "Friends", I just couldn't make it through a whole episode.  It just doesn't captivate my interest, I guess. I prefer to watch fights. (Maybe if there was some type of drag queen fight show...) KY LOVES it though, and that's great... Come to think of it, I think I could do drag if the money was right.  Well, maybe not.  I could do the wig, make-up, dress, and heels.  I could probably even sashay. I would be okay with it.  I just don't think I could pull off "The Tuck". (LC)

Competition

I would probably have to give the greatest of all time at wall-busting entrances title to Kool-Aid Man.  That one is easy.  Who's second best, though?  Lets say KAM died, who would then be the best at bustin' through bricks?  It would be a hell of a fun contest to find out.  I have a few potential contenders:  The Thing from Fantastic Four, The Terminator, Pink Floyd, Ronda Rousey, Ferris Beuller(???), Chewbacca, and The Toxic Avenger.  I really wanted to include The Ultimate Warrior and Macho Man.  Sadly, they are no longer with us, R.I.P.  Who else should be in on this? (LC)

Meditations

The other day I was contemplating the subject of New Jersey musicians.  I got to thinking about that Bon Jovi song "Livin' On A Prayer".  I thought about the lyrics, and then it dawned me that the song could just as well have been written by Springteen. "Tommy used to work on the docks.  Union's been on strike, He's down on his luck...It's tough, so tough..."  You know how it goes. Totally The Boss's style.  Now hear it in his voice... "Whoa, we're half way there.  Whoa, livin' on a prayer.  Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear. Whoa, livin' on a prayer..."  Take my word.  It works.  Kinda like "Born To Run".  I guess I'll see if I can keep this thing going... (LC)

Interludes

Sorry it's been a while.  I've been considering retiring and moving to Thailand. Phuket.  I'm not sure how my compadre in this endeavor feels... I might continue adding the few and far between bits of wisdom as they come to me. Bartles & James, man. (LC)